I love seeing all the different types of people in sex stores. It’s so entertaining for me to imagine what they’re into and what their lives look like. We used to create stories about strangers with Mom at airports. Mom would pretend to be the person talking on the phone sitting across from us, and she would speak as if she was them. Sis, Dad, and I would be cracking up at her humorous dialogue. Sometimes, we would chime in and get creative too. I was doing that in my head when I was at the sex store yesterday. There was this middle aged, overweight man buying spreader bars. I imagined him surprising his wife of 22 years for their anniversary. I pictured her bland and boring, but freaky in the sheets. I imagined him wrapping the cuffs around her ankles as she was on all fours. My vivid imagination made me giggle out loud while waiting in line. 

I ended up buying a dildo with a strap-on and a kinky kit. When I got home from the store, I hopped on top of the dildo and rode it like a cock. I’ve never done that before, and it was quite pleasant. I rubbed my clit as the rubber dick penetrated me, and I pinched my nipples with the clamps from the fun-filled kit of goodies. I came so hard it felt so good.  

Sex with myself has turned into such a pleasurable experience. I find that it’s a connection I have to stimulate and nurture just as I do lovers and friends. Masturbation gives me self-confidence and makes me feel sexy and free, so I took a seductive selfie wearing my nipple clamps. They were dangling off my boobs, pinching me with satisfaction, and I had to send the yummy photo to my swinger kik group and to the spear fisherman, who was on his way here. I loved getting all the responses from everyone telling me how dynamite I looked. 

Speaking of orgasmic fireworks, I went to another sex party at my lifestyle friend’s in Marina Del Rey and this guy there made me squirt. I had remembered a similar feeling when I went on that lunch date with the foot fetish Dom and after he said hello to my feet, he fingered me and made this liquid come out of me. The sex party guy was similar, but I was literally squirting out every which way. It was monumental. I kept asking him to do it again and again because it felt so good, and to be honest, I enjoyed watching it. 

I’ve always imagined orgasms as waterfalls, feeling the sensation pour through my entire body and then release between my legs. With squirting, it truly looked like the end of a waterfall, where the rushing water meets the pool below, exploding with a resounding roar. He was putting his fingers inside me and aggressively moving them against my G spot, causing me to squirt all over his arm and the bed, my moans erupting loudly from my lips. It was crazy. I can’t believe I’ve gone 25 years without squirting! I told the spear fisherman about it and I could tell he felt challenged. 

Yes, I guess I’m back on his train. I’m still confused if I like our long distance open relationship and even if I want to be with him as a human in general, but I do feel less emotionally invested. Last night, he kept trying to make the squirting happen. I explained how the guy at the party did it, but he couldn’t seem to get it quite right. I felt bad, but also, it’s obviously a rare and tricky task. 

At the sex party, my lifestyle friend’s partner took a really sexy picture of 9 of us on the bed. I can’t stop looking at it. He snapped the shot from a bird's eye view and edited it to black and white. We’re all mostly naked in this cuddle puddle, wrapped up in each other, legs, arms, and titties everywhere. It’s quite beautiful. There’s so much happiness in the photo and everyone is fucking sexy. Once again, I find myself so turned on by pictures of myself. I almost want to frame it and put it up with a collage of other black and white nude photography in my bathroom. I think I will. 

I find my kinks are growing the more sex I experience. Clearly I’m a bit of an exhibitionist as I love to be watched at parties now. Furthermore, I’m obsessed with intimate photographs of myself. Does that mean I’m vain? My confidence has always been present since high school when I went from nerdy and shy girl to sexy and sweet cheerleader over summer break. I guess I’m really loving the woman I’m turning into and the life I’m living. It’s not often people get incredibly sultry photographs taken of them at sex parties. I can’t help but share them.

It seems I’m leaning into kinkier shit. Last night, mid-sex, while the spear fisherman was on top of me, I asked him to slap me. I’m not sure what came over me, as I hated when that foot fetish Dom slapped me so suddenly while he was fingering me. I cried immediately and kicked him out. This time though, I suddenly wanted to feel the sting against my face and the vibration through my entire body. Plus, his energy was so nurturing from the moment he arrived, being so sweet to me all evening. I really do admire the connection we have. I felt safe with him in bed, and I wanted more. The slap did exactly that, and I channeled the stinging sensation through my entire body, igniting my skin with more delight. 

Then, I said “Thank you Daddy” which was unexpected but felt naughty to say out loud. He continued thrusting himself into me slowly, smiling at me, and kissing my lips with intensity. I felt spicy, saying those three words for the first time, ever. I arched my hips towards him, welcoming his thickness inside me. Soon, he was collapsing himself on top of me, moaning in rapturous ecstasy. I peeled his sweaty body off mine, and left to go pee and watch his cum drip out of me. 

One of the other times we had sex, he grabbed the medium sized butt plug that came in my kinky kit from the sex store. I watched his face light up as he came over to me on my bed, and began licking my hole. I enjoyed him in between my cheeks, as he often gave my booty licks when he went down on me, but this time, that hole was the only one getting all his attention. After I was significantly relaxed, he inserted a finger, then two. I watched him carefully as he worked his magic. Then, the plug went in, and I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. 

It was a wild experience after that as it quickly escalated from the plug to his cock. I felt so delirious as he went into me slowly, his broadness engulfing me. I wrapped my legs around him, letting him fill me in a way I’d never felt before. The butt sex I had in the past was drunk and never felt truly consensual. This time, I wanted it. I welcomed his deep thrusts, and my entire body was responding by quivering rampantly.

We were eye to eye, him cradling my head with his big hands, as he kept whispering how incredible I felt. He asked me to open my mouth, and I obliged widely, as he spit in it, licking my lips with arousal. I grabbed his face to kiss him, and I could feel his solidness growing even bigger inside me. He began penetrating me in a way that made me feel like I was about to unravel. He kept my head held as he thrusted faster and harder, and soon, I exploded, as did he. We laid there for a moment or two, kissing, and holding each other, him still inside me. 

“Umm.. I just had an anal orgasm.” I announced as I smiled. I could tell he felt proud, his ego no longer bruised from not getting me to squirt the day before.  

What I’ve realized about myself is that I like to do kinky shit on my own terms and when it feels right. I have to be in the mood for it. I don’t want just anybody to slap me without asking. Clearly that didn’t go well when it happened the first time with the foot fetish Dom. Even something as simple as a light spank should be first addressed as a question. I’m the curator of my own pleasure. I’m in charge. 

I do feel like I’m really expanding and blossoming ever since I moved here to LA. I’m grateful for sissy always being so accepting of my sexcapades and to my new group of swinger friends that have welcomed me, respectfully and sincerely. Also, the kinky people I’ve been meeting through Fetlife, spear fisherman specifically, have opened me up to a world I find so intriguing and alluring. He’s so gentle, yet so harsh, and the dichotomy is overwhelming at times, but then we have days like this week, where our relationship flourishes. I can’t wait to keep diving into this enchanting and wild pool of connection and pleasure.